K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
this is an emotional support booty call
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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