I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
