She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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