So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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