yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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