He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
