And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my being single is dangerous.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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