He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
