Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
