This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
