you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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