We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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