one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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