That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
