please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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