so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
