Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
