the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
