I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
