Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
