There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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