i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
