I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
