So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
