My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
