He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
dude. I can hear the air.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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