I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
