we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
