I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
