fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
