yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
