So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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