please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
