In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize