Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
