Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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