I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
