I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
