its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
