the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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