singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
