A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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