i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
