haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want her autograph on my taint
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
