u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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