brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
