The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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