I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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