His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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