weddingsv make me drug and hornr
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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