Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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