I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
