u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
